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He reached out to introduce himself with a handshake towards me and then extended his arms to embrace my bikini clad wife Anita. As their bodies touched I noticed his shorts could not hide what seemed to be a growing erection. His name was Markus, he complimented Anita on her nice bikini and gave her a very good looking over. I asked him about his own wife, thinking that she could be the read head beauty we had seen earlier. But then he told us that his wife had flown home a couple of days ago, to deal with some financial crisis. Noticing that Anita was a little bit embarrassed over the situation, I excused us and said we really wanted to go out the beach. Obviously he was very enticed by white women, because I turned my head when we were leaving and noticed he was rubbing his big bulge through his shorts. I asked Anita if she had noticed his arousal. She denied seeing anything which I knew she was lying about because I saw her staring at it.Later I asked my wife if she could. Everybody had a good time with it and eggnog and the Christmas spirit and NOBODY got pissed off if you wished them a Merry Christmas.I am an introvert. A serious introvert. One of nearly the hermit kind. One of my favorite quotes on the subject is by the writer Neal Stephenson: “Where did all these people come from, and how do I make them go away?” What this means as far as Christmas is concerned is that even though I enjoy gift-giving, I absolutely hate crowds.When I was about thirty and single—in days before the Internet—I developed tactics for shopping that made dealing with the crowds easier. I didn’t shower, shave, or brush my teeth for three days before going out to hit the malls (in those days, a stubbly face was a sign of poor grooming rather than a fashion statement). On the fateful day, I dressed in raggedy, grubby clothes. A pair of jeans I’d dragged around the garage floor until they were grimy and reeked of oil and gasoline. A tattered shirt. A holey tee-shirt was the.
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